GOD has called on another......... MY DADDY!!!!

On March 20, 2010 at 5:35 PM my dad passed away. He died peacefully and is no longer in pain. He died with his best friend sitting next to him and a loving daughter on the way to be with him. I missed him by an hour. I had a baby shower at work early in the morning and when I got home my mom called me from Hospice and told me he was having a bad day and things did not look good. I felt something come over me and I had to be there. I called my boss who is amazing and told him that I had to be there. I hopped in the car at 2:50PM on my way to be there for him. When I spoke with his nurse she said that I may not make it in time but he was comfortable and not in any pain.
My mom told him that I was coming and I would be there around 6:30 PM. I had to watch my speed and I promised my mom that I would drive safely since I have precious cargo in my belly (my baby girl). I stopped in Arcadia for a restroom break and drove by my dad's favorite house where the highway forks. Shortly after, I got a call from my mom that he passed and he was at peace.
I believe that things always happen in life for a reason...... I missed him by an hour....I do not think that he wanted me to see him like this......He choose to go before I could get there. He knew I was on my way and that I needed to be there for my mom.

I feel very sad and heartbroken that I will not be able to create more memories with him. I am grateful for the things he did for me, the time we shared, the support and love he gave me throughout the years. He was there for me and my mom throughout our lives. I know I may not have had the "nuclear" family, but I think I had something even more special. I had two parents that cared enough about me and each other to realize staying together was not fair for them or for me. I respect the friendship they where able to keep through the years. Although NOT in love they stilled loved each other and me. That is something I will always hold dear and true to my heart. We created some fun adult family times... taking several cruise... Disney trips.... sea world.... and just hanging out.

Although his life came to an end before he got to meet his granddaughter I know he will be her guardian angel and help me guide her to make the right decisions and help mold her into the woman that she will be one day.


I LOVE YOU DAD..... You are at peace and I am happy you are no longer suffering. I will miss you forever.......

Life is strange and very confusing at times

Life is strange and very confusing at times. Life…. What s life here on earth? Why do some live a lifetime of joy and fond memories… Why do some always feel like they are facing a battle day by day…… Why do some just coast trough without a care in the world….

Today my Dad was placed in Hospice after fighting a real tough battle with Soft Tissue Sarcoma. He was diagnosed December 15, 2007. There is not much knowledge about this type of cancer so we did what the basic protocol was for each stage. His main tumor was removed from his leg in late December. He recovered like a champ. He then faced radiation for 3 months every day Mon- Fri. After a few months with out any symptoms and a nice 7 day cruise o Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Mexico. In September 2008 we did a short cruise to the Bahamas. We came back to find out that the cancer had spread to the Lung. We scheduled surgery the week of Thanksgiving 2008. He did the DiVincie robotic surgery to remove two tumors located around his lung. The surgery was said to be a success. In April 2009 he did a follow up and the CT showed that cancer had multiplied and there were several large tumors in the lung and a lot of small tumors lining the lung. He said that we would only have a few months. I got on the phone with Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa who has a Sarcoma Clinic and we were able to get him in there for treatment. In May 2009 he started a round of chemo which was a 3 day process of staying in the hospital. This was done with lost of success. The small tumors disappeared and all of the larger ones shrunk and or stabilized. We took another short 4 day cruise in September 2009 to celebrate.

This is the point where things did not go so well. He came back to Ft. Lauderdale and meet with a local Cancer specialist. He was put on a clinical trial which we found out he was on the “real” pill. The side effects were horrible and the weightloss became too much for him to continue. He then struggled with diabetes, breathing problems. Fluids building up in his lung.

We had to make the best decision for him and get him back to Moffitt in December 2009 for an evaluation. His cancer was spreading and they recommended a lung surgery to reduce the fluid build up. He decided to wait until after the first of the year. He continued to be scene by his oncologist in Ft. Lauderdale until January 20, 2010 when this doctor told him he could not do anything else for him and gave him a month. At this point they drained his lung and accidentally collapsed the lung. My mom & Lenny came over to get him on a 24 hour world wind. He went back to Moffitt and tried a round of chemo and several chest tubes and lung surgeries. This eased his breathing and gave him a little extra time. On March 18, 2010 a decision was made by my father that he had given it his all and did not have any more fight in him. He was transported to Hospice. When he arrived at the beautiful facility in Palm Harbor all arrangements were made. After an evaluation the nurses gave him about 3 or 4 days…………………….

We gave him last rights. I was able to say my goodbyes while he was lucid. I told him I loved him and thank you for the things he taught me and a great life. It told him it was ok to go and that he fought a good battle but GOD must have a better plan for him……… Now we just wait……….

Our beautiful Niece..... Kathrine Rose (Katie)

On March 16, 2010 I woke up to get a glass of water and to see if Mark was home from working on an airplane. He wasn't and I turned on the TV just to catch the weather forecast. I rolled over to go back to sleep and I heard a text at 5:20 AM which read "Having your niece today! Should be soon!" ..... Leslie was due on April 7 so this truely was an unexpected text to get in mid March. Well don't ya know little Kathrine Rose MacGowan could not wait any longer. She was born at 8:42 AM 18.5" long and a healthy 6lbs 11 oz.

Congrats to Leslie & Rick on such a precious little one.

Here is her first picture..... more to come........

She is in position and we only have 10 weeks left....

We had a doctors appointment on Thursday..... Her little heartbeat was at 180 beats per minute. I was a bit nervous although the doctor said that it was normal and we may have caught her at a peak of movements but he wanted to put me on the Doppler monitor for about 10 minutes to track the movements. So while siting there for 10 minutes she was flipping, dancing, cartwheeling and bouncing around. It was funny because I would feel her move and she would run from where the Doppler was and the nurse had to keep adjusting it. Her resting heartbeat was 148 and her active was 178. Dr. Fern said it was a great sign that she was so active and he was happy with the numbers.

As he did his measurements he felt the positioning. I was scared to find out that she is in position already.

We now get to visit the doctor every other week. Next time is Dr. Falzone next Friday.

Whooo Hooooo Passed the test...

Great news from the doctor on Thursday. My levels were perfect.

........... Happy Happy ... Joy Joy...............